Glorious Beautiful Mystery

So, I can't for the life of me figure out if I actually like when God draws near.

....Ok, so that sounds crazy, but just give me a second to explain.



       Umm...where to start? well, it turns out that God can be one of the most romantic people ever. I really love taking strolls with him through foresty areas, usually in the evening as it's getting darker, sometimes when it's windy or even a light rain. I know it might sound unusual, but that's me. There's something very majestic about nature, and nicely mysterious about the darkness of night or the intensity of different weather conditions. It all draws me in and provokes a sense of awe in me. I feel my spirit quieted as I just listen and wait in the deep silence. It's in that moment that I'm struck with such overwhelming joy at the greatness of our God. His beauty is so magnificant...glorious really.

       And yet, in that same moment I start to feel a longing groaning deep inside of me. An aching that strikes me to the core. And I have a realization of the honest tangible separation of God from me. I will never fully be united with God until the world is stripped of evil. ..of pain and suffering...of our sin. There's just too many things still getting in the way of me being able to fully connect with God, and fully leave all of the corruption of this world behind.
      And in that moment, I can't stand it. I start to feel the agony of not being touched by God, of not being able to hug my heavenly Father and have him say, "the pain is over, I won't ever let anyone hurt you again. You can sit in my embrace for as long as you want." Because the truth is, the battle is not over, the pain will not cease until sin is vanquished when Jesus returns.....oh, what a glorious moment that will be!

So, you see...there's two sides to this coin...One: you receive a warm reminder of God's love and magnificance ....Two: you are reminded of the pain of separation that still remains...



And the reality is that it's better to be alive and feel love mixed with pain, than dead and feel nothing.

So, I guess that's my answer. .....I wouldn't trade those moments with God for the world.



Oh, and I think that the contentment in those moments also depends on the status of life in general as well. When pain is super evident in life, then I think it transfers over to that longing for Jesus to return already.